


Her name is Joelene.

by Amari



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: F/M, Fem!Joel, Genderbending, General strangeness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 00:44:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amari/pseuds/Amari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joelene was a peculiar woman. A woman that has Ray trapped by her charms and he's stupidly, hopelessly in love with her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Her name is Joelene.

Joelene  Heyman was a peculiar woman to say the least.

 She liked her clothes baggy. Folds of fabric draping her body in overly large hoodies and jeans that somehow just barely hung on her hips.  Her hair was a charcoal black wave that flowed to the middle of her back. A little messy, like she got out of bed, but never a snarled mess. She had dark brown eyes that looked like they were straight from a box of chocolates.  She also had a flatter chest, but it wasn’t like she was trying to flaunt her body anyway.  Whenever her forearms dared to peek out of the caverns of the hoodie sleeves, you could see slender arms, with a bit of muscle. Chipped fingernails were decorated with various colors that had been picked away by nervous habit. Her legs, if they were ever to see the light of day, were thin, pale, and _not_ hairless by any means.

“Shaving is a hassle, and my legs don’t sweat and smell.” She simply said when asked about it once.

Her nose was a little too thin, her jaw a little too big, torso too long, eyes themselves slightly uneven, but she was still insanely beautiful.

And even more beautiful was her mind.

She was strange. So very strange. She’d balance marshmallows on her head while working, stuffing two in her mouth if she failed to keep them up. Her arms would flail about as she spoke about things, because her mouth couldn’t express her information properly. And if you got hit, it was your own damn fault.

Screaming louder than Michael’s rage quits could be heard from her office when her finance shows gave shit advice, or something ‘exciting’ happened in the gold market.  She would talk about it for hours, even if she knew they stopped listening after the first three words of her schpeal.  She would eventually quit, find a cup of coffee, find another person, and start up all over again until Burnie told her to get back to work.  Often times she’d sass him, telling him to tie up his beard and hold on a second.

Whatever that actually meant, no one has actually figured out yet.

She also had this fun habit of touching people. Pinching cheeks, poking shoulders, patting head, or downright running her hand all over their face.  Like she had to reassure herself that they were actually there and she wasn’t imagining them. By some magic, her fingers always left a strange tingle behind, like she was sucking out your energy and the residue was lingering.

Joelene was a peculiar woman, and Ray was trapped by her charms.

Every step she took, Ray wanted to follow like a puppy.  He wanted to see what kind of magic she could perform. To see her cast her spells, to watch her move her body like a wizard moves their wand. All she had to do was lift her finger, and Ray would bend over backward for her.

But of course, she didn’t know that, and Ray would never let on that he was so hopelessly in love with her.

Instead, he actually listened when she spoke of gold, of her dreams, and of her messy, uncontrolled thoughts. He smiled when she touched him like a foreign object, relishing in her touch.  Her fingers always ran warm, full of life and energy, and they bestowed upon him a calm he never felt before, yet made his heart race at the very same time.

He wanted more, so much more. And with poking and prodding of close friends, he managed to somehow ask her to spend more time with him outside of work. You know, just as friends, playing video games and such. And with a smile on her lips she agreed.

When she walked into Ray’s apartment for the first time, she spread out her arms like a conductor signaling her orchestra. It felt that everything warped to her presence. The stapler on the counter, the dishes in the cupboards, and even the scattered papers bowed down and pledged loyalty to her.

She spun around, her hair dancing around her, smiled at Ray and said, “I like it.”

Ray almost dropped to his knees to say “It’s yours, my queen.” But instead he just shrugged and told her she’s welcome to stop by whenever she wanted.

And the way she moved through the apartment, it was like she was living there forever. She kicked off her shoes and jumped on the black sofa, making herself comfortable in what Ray wanted to call her throne.  For the next few hours they played games, which eventually led to physical shoving, and Ray losing his place on the couch, and a girl laughing hysterically above him.

“Oh man,” She wiped a tear from her eye, “You are like a chocolate orange, you know? But not the nasty dark chocolate ones, the milk chocolate ones. Or maybe even a raspberry one that’s not dark chocolate.”

And she prattled on about the differences between sweets for the next five minutes. Ray couldn’t help himself, and asked her questions that kept her going for another ten. Her animated talking was far more fun to watch than the screen that had been switched over to some random movie. She had more color in the darkened room than a lit up kaleidoscope. And the comparison she made was all but forgotten in the laughs that continued late into the night.

As she parted, she took with her a warmth that Ray couldn’t recreate, even with all the blankets in his apartment wrapped around him.

From that night on, Joelene would come and go from Ray’s apartment as she pleased. She just drifted, in and out, saying hello because she was on her way home, and texting wasn’t enough. If she had leftovers that she didn’t want, she’d plop them on Ray’s counter and leave. Most nights she came at a respectable time, others at a freakishly late hour.  Never once was Ray bothered by her drifting, he appreciated her willingness to come over at all.

One night, Ray was lost in his gaming, the colors of bullets and damage electrifying the screen. Headset on, scrambled voices screaming various insults through the ears, blocking out the outside world. His fingers frisked the controller in his hands, plastic clicking as he pressed the buttons. He was in his zone.

A loud thump at the door shook Ray from his game, and he may or may not let out a girly shriek. Before he could spring from the couch, his front door opened and in stumbled a laughing Joelene.  Her laugh ripped through the walls as she steadied herself on the counter. Her other hand rubbed at her forehead. Her pink face was scrunched into a smile that was too big, her teeth folding over her bottom lip. She wobbled her way in, about to faceplant in the middle of the kitchen when Ray managed to move his feet to catch her.  In such close proximity, Ray noticed her sweet smell had long given in to the smell of booze.

Grabbing Ray’s face, she leaned back and squinted at him. “Hallo, Ray.” She said strangely. As if she was reaching for the simple words that were evading her.

“Jesus, are you okay?” Ray asked, worriedly, making sure she was stable. He backed her slowly into the living room and sat her on the couch.

“Fine. Just fiiinnnnne.” She said happily as she stretched herself over the cushions, laying her back on them. One leg hooked itself over the back of the couch while she raised her arms over her head. She sighed happily while her back sunk into the seats.

Ray immediately abandoned his game, and turned all of his attention to the drunk woman on his couch. There was no second thought, no moments spent worrying about what to do, it was automatic. He even fought with her to remove her jacket and her shoes.

He didn’t ask why she was here, he didn’t need to, because she was spilling out all of that information between giggles. It was cheaper for the cab to take her here than it was her own place, she slurred.

Ray wasn’t bothered when Joelene pawed at his shirt while he put his things away. He wasn’t bothered when got off the couch for the seventh time to hang off Ray. He wasn’t bothered when she couldn’t even form coherent sentences but insisted on talking to Ray. He wasn’t bothered when he stayed next to her, making sure she was comfortable with the blanket and pillow provided.

He wasn’t bothered when she made one last grab at his shirt, stopping him from leaving.

She looked up at him, eyes glinting in the low light, and gave him a sleepy smile, “You… are like my wardrobe, Ray.” Those were her final words before she passed out cold on the couch.

The words, although said warmly sent a cold shiver up Ray’s spine. His mind was already reeling by the time he made it to his own bed. It rewound her sentence, over and over again, making sure he understood just how she said it.

“You… are like my wardrobe, Ray.” She had said. Knowing her, and the state of her inebriated mind, the words may have meant nothing. But this was Joelene, everything she said was significant in some way, drunk or not.

But what would that mean? What would someone being like their clothes mean?

The thing Ray had always noticed about Joelene’s attire was that they never ever fit her. They were often old, and falling apart at the seams. Tears that she didn’t bother to fix, stains she couldn’t quite get out, holes in various places… her clothes were pretty shit. Did that mean Ray was shit?

That couldn’t be right. She wouldn’t come by as often as she did if she though so poorly of him. She wouldn’t hover over him randomly at the office if she didn’t like him. She wouldn’t be here, sleeping on his couch. She wouldn’t smile the way she does. She wouldn’t command the presence she does if she thought ill of Ray.

So, what does it mean? What does it mean? What does it mean? His question remained unanswered.

He tossed in turned in his bed, sheets knotting themselves as the night wore on. Sleep was never a blessing, for his mind was too busy mulling over Joelene’s words. The red glare on the clock that sat on the nightstand warned him of the diminishing nighttime. It recorded the hours of sleep he lost, and mocked him along with the sun when it peeked through the shades.

Ray wanted nothing more than to ignore the imaginary laughter of the clock and the sun, and flopped over to ignore them both. But soon enough, the smell of fresh coffee crept into his nostrils, calling out to him. Tired and exhausted both mentally and physically, Ray dragged his heavy limbs out of the bed. Sheets were bunched up to one side of the bed, and he lazily found a clean shirt and pants, barely picking up his feet he shuffled to the kitchen.

The smell of coffee ambushed his nose as he stepped onto the linoleum floor. Happy humming infiltrated his ears and he quickly found the source of both senses. A happy, bouncing Joelene that was dancing to the beat in her own brain while waiting for the coffee maker to finish its task. 

“You’re up early,” Ray said with a yawn, “And disturbingly peppy.”

With a squeak, Joelene spun around too look at Ray. Dark eyes widened in shock to meet with Ray’s own. A natural smile graced her lips as she leaned against the counter. Her hair, still messy, fell in front of her face.  She inhaled a little by accident when trying to blow it out of her face. Ray laughed at her coughing fit.

“Ugh.” She said after her hack-fest was over, “Well, I slept pretty damn well, thank you. Your couch is amazing.”

“So I’ve been told.” Ray said smugly, trodding closer to Joelene.

The coffee machine dinged, informing the pair that the coffee was ready, and after some idle chat with coffee mugs in hand, Joelene left. Thanking him kindly for taking care of her, and apologizing for any trouble she may have caused. Little did she know that her very existence was trouble, but she was nothing close to a Taylor Swift song.

And any trouble she may have caused, she more than made up a few days later when she asked him to help her with a video. Basically all he had to do was bear witness to the video, and react as he felt it. Knowing from her various videos with Jack, with sporadic editing creating crazy scenarios, Ray had no idea what he was in for.

So he nestled down next to her, sweating on the inside, and readied his mic. The video started like any other; a simple ‘how to’ achievement guide for a video on Far Cry. But then it quickly descended into a murdering madness. It was like an insight to Joelene’s mind as death after death appeared on the screen with unfitting music. One short cut to the next, spiraling into pure madness, sending Ray into an absolute fit of laughter. He laughed himself stupid, slipping out of the chair and grabbing his stomach as he knelt on the floor.

She glanced over at him, lips upturned in a confident smile. She leaned forward, elbow resting on the desk, and watched his chest shudder with laughter.  The moment mirrored the first time she pushed him off his couch, except he was the one that couldn’t breathe.

Slow fingers reached over and ruffled Ray’s hair tenderly. “Ray, you are my water. Thanks.”

And just like that, she got up and left in true Joelene fashion.  Ray was left on the floor, utterly stupefied.

_What the absolute fuck did THAT mean?_

With a defeated sigh, he stood, fixing his hair. At this point, he’d given up trying to figure out what she meant, and just assumed they were all good things.  He knew her well enough to know that she probably couldn’t explain what she meant even if she tried. She’d only confuse herself as well as Ray even further, and maybe given someone a black eye as she flailed her way around words.

But that’s what Ray loved about her. He loved that he couldn’t figure her out, he loved that she was so original. He couldn’t imagine Joelene any other way.

A few more months passed, and Ray wanted to believe that the distance between them was closing. He wanted to believe that he could stand next to her and her throne. He wanted to think that maybe that he was reaching the peak of the mountain that was Joelene. The way she constantly texted him, talked to him, spent most of her free time at his place, made him believe these things.

One day at the office, Ray was going to get his Life Water from the fridge when he heard someone behind him. He turned around to find none other than the wonderful lady that had been taking up his mind and his heart. Her arms were folded as she leaned down on the counter, her butt sticking out in the air. She had an angel’s smile, but devil horns were obviously holding up the halo.

“Hey Ray.” She said simply.

Ray mirrored her, leaning down on the counter and staring at her.

“Hey Joelene.” He replied.

She wiggled her butt, something Ray noticed and was sure she wasn’t even aware of.

“Imma need you to do me a favor.” She said.

“Yeah and what is—“ Before Ray could finish, Joelene plucked the glasses from Ray’s face and placed them on her own.  “Well, uh okay then.”

She squinted through the lenses, looking carefully through the blurry distortion. “You see, I’ve been having problems thinking clearly lately, and I figured that if I could basically blind myself, my mind would clear itself.”

Ray, who was pretty much as blind without his glasses as she was with his, laughed at her logic. It was so out there, so very much Joelene that he just rolled with it.

“So, did it work?” Ray had to ask.

Joelene nodded before giving an enthusiastic “Yes!” She tilted her head downward, the glasses slipping slightly down her nose as she peeked above them. “As a matter of fact, everything is clear now!”

He lifted an arm to rest his chin in a hand. His glasses, from what he could tell, looked amazing. Shaping her face in a way he had never seen before, and only making her look more beautiful than ever. “What is this thing that happens to be clear?”

“Well, as embarrassing as it is to say, but it appears that I am stupidly, hopelessly in love with you.” Joelene said matter-of-factly.  “I just wonder why it took me so friggin’ long to figure that out.”

Oh.

Would you look at that?

It’s Ray’s heart. It exploded, and all of his insides are now out on the counter between them. Exposed, much like Joelene’s confession left her. Happiness was causing his innards to twitch and flop about on the marble surface, and the only thing actually visible to Joelene was the smile that nearly tearing Ray’s face in half.

“You know, over the course of time I’ve gotten to know you, I learned that there is no predicting what you are going to say next, but I never thought, even for a moment, that you would ever honestly tell me that.”

Joelene puffed out her cheeks, her skin kissed with a dust of blush, “I’ve been trying to tell you that for weeks. I thought you’d pick up on it sooner.”

And with that statement, all the fragments and odd comparisons locked together in Ray’s brain. The puzzle finally complete and glued to be framed.

Chocolate oranges are rare. Not found often in stores. They are sweet, and have a unique flavor to them that nearly impossible to find elsewhere.

Her wardrobe is a big part of her. It’s what she’s comfortable with; it constantly touches her, and embraces her. He clothes protect her like armor. It keeps her from being more exposed than she wants to be. Her clothes help define her. On that night she drunkenly stumbled into his home, she was saying she was safe there. That he could protect her and she would have nothing to fear.

Finally, water. Water is essential to life. You need it to live.

She was saying in her perfectly unique way that Ray was one of a kind. Someone that couldn’t be found often. Someone that she could be comfortable around, someone that she felt could keep her from harm. Someone that helped her define her. Ray was her water.

She needed him to live. He was somehow her source of life.

He was granted his wish. The woman he could only dream about. She wanted him, probably even more than he had wanted her.

“Well, I’ve stupidly loved you too.” Ray confessed.

She reached over and grabbed Ray’s Life Water out of his hands and took a nice drink of it. Her lips shinned princess pink. And those wet lips pulled themselves into the most unforgettable smirk in the universe.

“Yeah. I knew that already.” She said in a nonchalant tone. “But it’s nice to actually hear it.”

The smiles they shared between them contained their own universe of happiness. Stars that lit up their newfound future and promises of a good life decorated the air around them. She was never a part of this world to begin with, and now neither was Ray. She was a queen, and he was now a king.

Joelene Heyman was a peculiar woman, but a woman that loved Ray Narvaez Jr. with her entire being.

And Ray Narvaez Jr. was a dumb boy that got exactly what he wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably some of my best writing ever. I'm serious, this is to make up for all my crap fics that I've been writing lately. I really hope you enjoyed.


End file.
